If you buy an Intex Easy Set Pool you will perhaps believe set up to be easy.  And why not!?  It clearly states on the box that it is.  See?

    All you have to do is:

1    Make an offhand sort of promise to your daughter that the pool will be up before July 4th.
2    Realize July 4th is fast approaching.
3    Remember what a poor job your filter did last year.
4    Remember how you don’t want to add chemicals to something your children will be spending at least a quarter of their summer time in.
5 to 19    Spend an average of an hour each day for two weeks agonizing over how to keep this pool clean.
20    Settle on a saltwater filter.
21    Spend the next week looking for a good deal before finally deciding to bite the bullet and just get one already.
22    Wait for it to arrive before proceeding to the erroneously labeled “step 1″.

23    The “select level location” bit may be tricky if your yard is sloped.  But no problem, that can be remedied in a few easy steps.
24    Stake out desired location for pool.
25    Run string around stakes and level with string level.
26    Realize you don’t have a string level - go to Lowe’s to get one.
27    While at Lowe’s pick up 20 of the 36 bags of filler you’ve determined you need to create your very own “level location” and 2 bags of salt for the filter.
28    Return home and level the previously strung string.
29    Carry 20 bags of top soil and 2 bags of salt to the back yard.
30    Wish you had a wheelbarrow.
31    Spread out 20 bags of top soil as evenly as possible.
32    Realize you are a bit shy of level.
33    Briefly consider returning to Lowe’s for more soil before realizing how tired you are.
34    Decide close is good enough.
35    Lay plastic tarp over your almost “level location.” (This is not explicitly stated in the instructions but experience will have taught you the value of this step.)
36    Place pool over plastic tarp making sure to center it on your fabricated “level location”.
37   
38    Notice the word “optional”.
39    Recall last summer when you blew up the top ring With. Your. Mouth.
40    Refrain from cursing.
41    Listen to your genius daughter who reminds you of your bicycle pump.
42    Discover the bicycle pump doesn’t fit.
43    Refrain from cursing.
44    Watch your genius daughter jerry-rig an adapter from some random black garden tube thing.
45    Request an application to MIT.
46 to 49    Watch filter instructional video at least 4 times.
50    Install filter/saltwater chlorination unit that you spent weeks researching, Do this in the near darkness while your flashlight holding daughter skips away periodically crying, “Oooh look!  A firefly!”
51    Reconsider the MIT application.
52    Go to bed.

53    The next morning (or later) re-center pool on plastic tarp.
54    Turn on hose and begin to fill the pool with an inch of water.
55    Turn off hose and carefully smooth out all wrinkles.
56    Notice that one side of the pool has an inch of water and the other side has about a foot more than an inch.
57    Disregard this discrepancy.
58    When all wrinkles are smoothed out, turn the hose back on.
59    Allow children to splash about as pool fills.
60    Make the children get out so you can go bake a cake or read some blogs or write a dissertation. (Any or all of these can easily be finished in the time it takes the pool to fill.)
61    Turn the hose off.
62    Congratulations your pool is now *almost* ready to use.
63    Add 60 lbs of salt to the pool.
64    Allow filter to run for 24 hrs.
65    Set chlorination unit to run for 3 hrs.
66    Test water.
67    Use pool. For 4 days. It will look something like this:

68    Skip swimming on the 5th day because of rain.
69    Skip swimming on the 6th day because of rain.
70    Skip swimming on the 7th day because of rain.
71    Wake up day 8 to find this:

72    Watch helplessly as your dreams of summer coolness roll slowly down the slope of your *almost* “level location”
73    Wait for the sun to return.
74    Empty pool.
75    Move pool.
76    Roll back tarp.
77    Remember why you put down the tarp in the first place.
78    Try not to faint from the smell of rotting grass.
79    Pack up the kiddos and head to Lowe’s.
80    Purchase the remaining 16 bags of filler you should have gotten the first time and another bag of salt.
81    Purchase a wheelbarrow because by golly you’re not carrying that many bags of anything to the backyard ever again.
82    Get completely home before realizing you have purchased a wheelbarrow with a flat wheel.
83    Refrain from cursing.
84    Don’t remember that you have a bicycle pump.
85    Carry 16 bags of sand and a bag of salt to the back yard.
86    Silently remind yourself that God tells us to forgive others.
87 to 104    Forgive the people at Lowe’s for selling you a defective wheelbarrow.  - Repeat once for each bag.
105    Spread the sand around to create a new and improved “level location”
106    Replace the tarp over the sand and fetid grass.
107    Replace the pool on the tarp.
108    Go to bed.
109    Re-install the filter/saltwater chlorination unit.
110    Center pool on the the new “level location.
111    Turn on hose and begin to fill the pool with an inch of water.
112    Turn off hose and carefully smooth out all wrinkles.
113    When all wrinkles are smoothed out, turn the hose back on.
114    Allow children to splash about as pool fills.
115    Shake your head as you try to overcome an overwhelming feeling of dejavu.
116    Make the children get out so you can go bake a cake or read some blogs or write a dissertation take a nap while the pool fills.
117    Turn the hose off.
118    Congratulations your pool is now *almost* ready to use…again
119    Add 60 lbs of salt to the pool.
120    Allow filter to run for 24 hrs.
121    Set chlorination unit to run for 3 hrs.
122    Test water.
123    Use pool.

See? Exactly one hundred twenty-three steps.  1-2-3.

Marketing.  Genius.

  Long ago in a life far away, I needed some contact cards for my doula business.  Now anyone who’s ever been a doula knows it’s not a particularly lucrative field (though the intrinsic rewards are outstanding).  Anyway, I was looking for inexpensive business cards that I didn’t have to buy by the thousands.  A little bit of searching led me to VistaPrint.  Since that time I’ve used their service for address stamps, more business cards, notepads and most recently postcards (of the “We have moved” variety)    The quality is great.  The service is outstanding.  Any product can be personalized with ease and best of all, I got everything for the price of shipping.  Cool, huh?

In case you were wondering, this is not a sponsered post.  I just found a print company that works for me.

Click on over here to find out what’s working for other bloggers this week.

Did you have a good holiday?  I hope so.  We took it easy this year.  Hung out with the family, roasted some hot dogs, set off a few fireworks.  Okay, that last bit is a complete understatement.  Independance Day ranks right next to Christmas on our favorite holiday list.  In fact for us, it is very much like Christmas.  We go to the store with our budget in hand and leave the store with our budget in the trash.  See.

I should tell you that we didn’t set all of these off… yet.  We usually do two shows each year.  One on the Fourth for our Tulsa family and friends and then another sometime in August for the family out in Gate.  This year we are adding a show in Arkansas for a different group of relatives.  …. because we are crazy people, I tell you.

To our credit we only go crazy like this on special occasions.  It’s not an everyday sort of thing (so you can just stop looking for that insane asylum number right now).  And for Independance day the craziness seems limited to the four walls of the TNT Fireworks Superstore.  This is why: 

• You can get the most of “bang” for your buck.  (Punny but true.) Mom and Pop shops may be nostalgic but they can’t offer the best deals.  For even more savings don’t wait until the last minute.  Shop the first day they are open when almost everything is “Buy One, Get One Free.”
• They are willing to negotiate.  If you’re spending a lot of cash (or even if you’re not) don’t be afraid to ask for discounts and/or substitutions to get the widest variety for the least amount.
• TNT has a “NO Duds” guarantee.  They store and later sell their product in a climate controlled environment.  So in spite of the rainy/muggy weather outside, everything you buy will work.
• Similarly, climate control means a pleasant place to shop…especially with kids.
• All the staff really knows about the product.  They don’t just guess or read the label.  They’ve actually seen each thing work and can describe it to you.
• It is run by a local church who uses the profit for their ministry.

Disclaimer: If this post reads like an advice column it’s because it was written for the WFMW that wasn’t.

And I am writing this from my super secret remote hide-out while my regular posting location is, you know, FLOODED!  We came to Tulsa this past weekend and as usual returned to B’ville Sunday evening in time to watch the only show on TV that matters right now.  Anyway, leaving on Friday we noticed the Go Kart place was flooded.  “That’s too bad.”  We sympathized and drove on.  Driving back into town on Sunday we noticed the soccer fields were flooded (as in you could only see the tops of the goals).  Nearing downtown we saw streets three blocks from our apartment covered in water.  We also ran into traffic which wouldn’t be that unusual in many downtowns but on most Sunday nights in B’ville cars are sparse.  We got into our apartment (2nd Floor) and stepped out onto the balcony to watch a constant trail of cars, SUV’s and pickups loaded to the hilt with mattresses and other misc furniture.  It was like some eerie, mass exodus.  We went inside to watch our show.  Half an our later my mom calls to say parts of I-75 are closed and the floodwaters in B-ville are rising. 

“Oh, mom we’re on the second floor.  It’s no big deal.”  I step outside to survey the situation and calm her silly concerns.

“Uh, mom…. we’ll be home soon.  I gotta go.”

Why the sudden change?  Floodwaters that had been three blocks away are now visible at two.  Will and I quickly pack (again).  Within another 30 minutes we’ve gathered enough clothes and other sundry items to last a week.  I peak out the balcony one last time. The new shoreline has advanced from two blocks to one.  That averages out to about a block an hour.

Today we are in Tulsa at Grandma’s (oops, I mean a secure remote location).  Since our B’ville place is on the second floor and the building itself is on a bit of a rise, I don’t have much concern for our stuff but we recieved word that today downtown is basically closed which means that had we stayed we probably would have been stuck there. Four people and a cat in less than 700sq ft for an indeterminate amount of time is not on my list of fun things to do for Independance Day.

Anyway this experience has gotten me to thinking about a few things:

• First, we got apartment insurance last week so if anything does happen it’s covered.  I almost didn’t because I thought I didn’t need the expense and really what could possibly happen?  Now I’m glad to be paying my $13/month.  That’s not a typo.  $13/month for $19K in replacement coverage.  Renter’s insurance is incredibly cheap so if you live in an apartment get some.
• Second, even though I’m in Tulsa I’m typing this on my computer through the wonder that is GoToMyPC.  Before we left, knowing that I wanted to do bills and such this weekend I hopped over to their site and signed up for a free thirty day trial.  It’s not really a trial for me because I’ve used the service before.  It’s outstanding.  If you’re mobile but you don’t want to lug around a laptop, get GoToMyPC and hang out at internet cafes.  You’ll get your work done and be cool all at the same time.
• Third, we cleared out of our place within 30 minutes of making a decision to do so.  We left with the equivilent of 3 small laundry baskets worth of stuff.  I feel confident that we have everything we need.  I’m not worried about family photos because I use Phanfare.  I’m not worried about important documents because I grabbed the single folder that contains them all.  I’m not worried about digital documents because my computer backs itself up to someplace in AZ every night.  I’m not worried about anything else because It’s. Just. Stuff.

I invite you do do an evacuation check.  Could you leave your house in 30 minutes without worry?  I hope so.

Here’s a picture of Brother from September 2005.  He had just recently started walking so I ordered a pair of Bobux.

I cannot say enough good things about these shoes.  People seemed to constantly remark on how well he walked in these.  But when he wore “regular” shoes the comments ranged from nothing at all to “just learning how to walk, huh?”

There are a lot of knock-offs available now for much less but they all have one major benefit in common:  they stay on.  If you have a toddler - you need these shoes.

Did you play?

From the American Heritage Dictionary:

A group of 144 items; 12 dozen.

I offer 144 diapers.  It’s a somewhat of a mixed bag (136 Seventh Generation #4’s and 8 Fuzzi Bunz).  I thought about making a design - You know, a happy face or something.  But c’mon - they’re diapers!  And I couldn’t imagine why they’d make me smile.

• Dense; profuse.
• Glaringly obvious: gross injustice.

Brother is 2 1/2  and still in diapers.  While the rate of diaper changes has slowed since his infancy on average I have changed about 8 diapers a day for just over 900 days.  That’s 7,300 diapers changes.  Certainly that is a ‘profuse’ amount.

Also, considering a diaper change takes on average 4 minutes (including fetching supplies and catching the child).  I calculate a whopping 29,200 minutes I’ve spent performing this staple of motherhood.  That’s 486.6 hours or 20 continuous days!  I have two children so 40 days of my lifetime has been set aside exclusively for wiping someone else’s fanny…. Not fanny funny.  It’s a gross injustice.

Offensive; disgusting.

Do I really need to expound on why diapers fit this part of the definition?

Did you play?

I looked all over this week for something silver.  Then yesterday sitting at my desk I spied these.  Perfect.  To you these may look like ordinary containers but to me they represent so much more.  You see, I am a container junkie.  A place for everything and everything in its place.  Which means of course that you must have containers.  I even have containers for my containers.  My family humors my disorder.  This conversation was had a couple of weeks ago during cleanup time.

Dad: “Sister, where does this toy go?”

Sister:  “Oh, that goes in the ‘I-don’t-know’ bin.”

Dad:  “The ‘I-don’t-know’ bin?

Sister:   “Right here (pointing)”

Dad (to me):  “The ‘I-don’t-know’ bin?!

Me (very seriously):  Yes.  It’s for all those toys that don’t have matches… or don’t fit with any…thing…. else…. (trailing off).

Dad (slow nod) :  “Riiiight.”

Anyway, my entry for this week are three silver containers which I picked up over a month ago on sale for a buck each at the supermarket.  They used to hold Hershey’s kisses but that is obviously not why I bought them.  For proof of that fact, I offer another silver picture:  

Two still sealed bags of kisses. (The third bag did get opened but only because we had a guest in our house that weekend and I needed a tasty treat to offer.)

(Oh, I almost forgot.  The pop bead count was 25 ft of round and 8 ft of irregulars.)

Did you play?

From now on the majority of my wardrobe will come from here.  How can you not buy from a company who so clearly understands - “LIFE IS GOOD”.  Another statement on one of their products:  “Not all who wander are lost.” - it occurs to me “Not all who wonder are lost.” either.  Sometimes our simple life seems to puzzle people.  It is certainly not a direct route to “success” … whatever that is.  It is a rambling, winding way full of questions and backtracking and smelling of the roses.  It is “The Road Not Taken” and “Walden” only in hesitant, baby steps.  But if the converse of Socrates is true then our examined life grows more and more worth living each day.

This morning started out with a lie. Oh, it was a little one and didn’t really hurt anybody but it was a lie nonetheless. What makes it notable however is that Brother was the one to tell it. I had given him a diaper which he took into the other room. He returned without the diaper and when I asked, “Where is the diaper? We need to change you.” He replied, “Daddy change me.” and flashed one of those, “do you think she’ll see through me?” looks that people seem to get when they aren’t very good at fibs. I don’t see this as a trend but still, he’s not even two yet. It was a little disturbing.
And about the diapers - I’ve settled on half n’ half. I can’t bring myself to spend very much on diapers when I have a completely viable alternative right in front of me but I can’t deal with nighttime/naptime leaking either. I am trying to be responsible with the diapers I do buy. The current favorite: Seventh Generation No cutsy characters but they work every bit as good as Pampers…. without the allergies.
I found a seat for Brother that attaches to the back of an adult bike. Not one of those you pull behind but one that actually attaches to the bike. I might stress here that the instructions say ” Fits most adult bicycles” and also that I do not actually have an adult bicycle. Still, after much struggle, I safely (or so I thought) attached the seat. The whole point of this endeavor was to allow Sister, Brother and I to ride our bikes across the Jenks pedestrian bridge….which we did. Across and back… and that was all. Because my bicycle is apparently smaller than normal the seat (and Brother) are much closer to the pedals than they should be. Brother kept sticking his feet up and kicking the back of my knees as we rode. The idea is sound but the execution was poor. I will find a larger bike and try again. On a similar note, Sister loved riding across the bridge and wants to go back very soon. I think it was excellent exercise (for her and me) and also want to go back.
Another great bedtime book from the library - Sleepytime Rhyme by Remy Charlip. It should probably bother me that all my book recommendations are for the under 6 crowd but it doesn’t . Write about what you know.
Oh, and my dad bought a horse today. She won’t arrive for a month but I am looking forward to learning to ride again (I assume that’s something you have to relearn??) and to teaching Sister and Brother.

When Sister was a baby it never occurred to me to use cloth diapers. Pins and Folding and Leaking!?! No way! With Brother, I considered the option just because by then I knew there actually were options. Snappies, velcro, & buttons made the idea more agreeable. Still the ease of staying mainstream kept us from that route until (15 mo) Brother developed a mysterious rash - bumpy, blotchy, red, obviously uncomfortable (even painful at times) and absolutely impossible to treat. Could it be the diapers? Around 19 months our pediatrician confirmed that it was an allergic reaction and agreed with our assesment that the diapers were to blame. And so began the big switch. A quick Google revealed so many choices….everyone with a name cuter than the last. (Tiny Tush, Swaddlebees, Bumkins, Bummis, Kissaluvs, Bum Genius, Mother-Ease, Kushies.) And everyone with ads and disads. (high cost, low cost, great for day not for night and naps, needs a cover but easy to wash, doesn’t need a cover but only fits one size.) Finally, we settled on Fuzzi Bunz - cute, huh? And the rash disappeared overnight.
Skip ahead 4 months. We are in the middle of moving, Brother needs a change and the cloth diapers are “all the way” downstairs. I sneak a disposable from Grandma’s stash and hope that the allergy won’t pick up on the trick until the next change. It doesn’t. A couple of days later, it happens again. I can feel myself slipping back into mainstream. I have never regreted or resented the switch to cloth. I really never thought of it as any more or less difficult than disposables… until now. But it’s more than just our move prompting me to think of changing back. In the hot weather, the cloth diapers have started causing a rash and after 4 days the disposables have not. Even double duty nighttime diapers have started leaking. And the biggest reason of all, Brother actually likes changing when we use the “elmo, bird” diapers. He actually wants to change and tells me when he needs a change. These are actions I was told to expect from a toddler wearing cloth but with cloth my son runs away and says, “NO!” even when he clearly needs a new diaper.
I have washed all my Fuzzi Bunz and am going through the leftover Pampers. There is about a week’s worth left. Decisions, decisions.