Me (to Brother who is found picking his nose):  Do you need a tissue?

Brother: No, I’m just getting this out.

Me: It’s a booger.

Brother:  Yeah.

Me (as I see him contemplating the booger’s destiny): Well, don’t eat it. Put it in this tissue and throw it in the trash. It’s yucky. 

Brother (after further contemplation):  Yeah, it’s yucky . . . but the good boogers are for eating.

I thought about challenging this assumption but wisely chose to retreat instead.  A mother has to pick her battles.

huge-mongus: really, really, really big

planek: as in the planek Jupiter or Mars or Earf

waspses: a lot of bees

morning day: that period of time following sleep

compano: the 88 keyed instrument in our living room which is (apparently) a distant cousin of the compooter.

map: the how-to sheet of any board game

I change my mind: I know I just threw a big fit about how I wanted this thing this particular way but now I’m telling you that the way you wanted to do it in the first place is okay so there really wasn’t any need for you to go to all that effort to get it just right. Why don’t you change it back and do it the other way now?

~~~~~~~~~

Mom: Brother, it’s time to go potty.

Bro: “Oh, bother.”

Sister took some time yesterday to create a television from an old cardboard box.  She and Brother went outside and rehearsed for some time their “Spring News Report” - all about groundhogs and shadows and such.  Finally happy with the results they called me to watch.

Sis: Okay, Brother.  Go over there and hide like we practiced.

Bro:  No.

Sis (clearly annoyed): Broooother! Go hide like we practiced.

Bro (arms folded):  No.  I want to be the star.

Sis (with a voice that’s changed to honey):  But Brother, you ARE the star.  The groundhog is the most important part.

Bro:  Then you be the groundhog.

“Mom, mom!  Did you see mine two plus three equals five?”

“Wow, that’s really great, Brother.”

“Yeah, I did it all by mineself ’cause that’s how I learn and get a rocketship.

It’s good to have goals, isn’t it?

*edited “until I could resist any longer” - because in my haste to avoid a double negative I failed to put any negative at all.

For about a week now Brother has bounded out of bed each morning to delclare, “Oh, mom the sun is rising it’s time to go to school!” He then collects his backpack, packs a lunch and walks down the hall to the toy/computer room. There he will play for almost an hour before returning “home”. Today had only one variation. He “waited” for the school bus. And waited and waited until I could resist no longer. I donned my schoolbus driver persona and picked him up along with two or three pretend passengers and drove them all to the toyroom. There he is now. Happily playing school. To each his own, I suppose.

(After watching the Max & Ruby episode where Ruby is out selling brownies for her scout troop. — think Girl Scouts and cookies)

Brother:  Mom, mom! Can we get Bunny Scout Brownies?!

Me (with sympathy): Oh, honey,  I’m sorry Bunny Scout Brownies are just pretend.

Brother:  Nonsense!

Sister:  Did he just say “nonsense”?

Me: Yes, he did.

Sister:  Hmm, pretty grown up word for such a little boy. 

********

Yep, they’re mine.

Brother, we’re going to see the cousins today!

-Oh, wow!  The cousins!

Yes.  We will see K. and I. and J. and Baby E.

-Baby E. isn’t a cousin. (disdainfully)

Yes, she is.

-No mama.  Unfortately, babies can’t be cousins.

                         *************

Yes, he’s three and yes, he really did say “unfortunately.”

Driving in the car:

“Mom, is there such a thing as an-brothers?

—- “an-what?”

“An-brothers, you know, like an-sisters.

Aunt R walks in to find her own year old daughter and Brother dancing to some music while Sister sits watching on a nearby chair.

—- “Sister, don’t you want to dance with Baby E and Brother?”

“No, I don’t think so. You know Aunt R., older people just don’t have as much energy as the younger ones.”

Did I tell you we went to see Go, Diego, Go - Live?  It was back in July.  I kept meaning to bring it up but little by little the story got pushed to the back of my drafts folder. Ah, well.

It was the first major live production Brother had attended (Will & Sister went to the Ballet only a couple months earlier.) so I was unsure how he would react.  For most of the performance he sat completely still and quiet.  Even when the characters on stage invited a response he remained silent.  Did he like it?  Was he scared?  I couldn’t tell.  After the whole event was over and we were well on our way to the car, Brother finally spoke - a reverent whisper almost - “Let’s do it again, Mama.”

As we drove along in the car today; Will & I chatting in the front and Sister playing with her horses in the back, Brother sat in his car seat deep in thought. Then, at a pause in the conversation, Brother broke from his reverie to issue an indignant exclamation.

“HEY! Wait a minute!  Pickles don’t talk!”

        -No, pickles don’t talk.

“And… and… tomatoes don’t talk either!”

Oh, the disappointments of childhood, they are great.