In a random search for laundry detergent I ran across this interesting article on Lotus Birth (Like I said… random.)  Anyway, the article explains it in more detail but basically a Lotus Birth is the practice of leaving the umbilical cord attached to the baby until it “naturally dries and severs a few days after birth.”  I’m not certain what I think about the “few days” part but I am a big supporter of leaving the umbilical cord attached until it stops pulsating.  It doesn’t hurt anything to leave it intact (It is the rare cord that is not long enough to allow a mother to snuggle and nurse her newborn.) and there are a number of possible benefits – including but not limited to 50% lower risk of anemia in the newborn, keeps baby in mommy’s arms instead of lying alone in a crib, decreased chances of respiratory distress.[De Marsh, QB, et al "The Effect of Depriving the Infant of its Placental Blood", JOUR AMA ^V 7 June 1941]” and decreased incidence of jaundice [Mothering Magazine ~ I forget which issue.]

The moments after your child’s birth will mostly likely be full of joy and excitement on your part and busy, busy, rush, rush on the doctor’s part.  If you want to delay the cutting of the cord, be sure your doctor and nurse know this well ahead of time.  You may even consider designating someone to remind them of your wishes in the excitement of the moment.

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I stumbled across a lovely birth story at Mothering magazine’s online forum.  I am sharing it with you because the author so beautifully describes the sensations of labor.  Enjoy!

Ripley’s Birth or “What if feels like to be in labor”

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Have you ever seen a beetle turned on it’s back?  Clearly not comfortable in that position, it will struggle and struggle until it rights itself, is happened upon by a sympathetic stranger or finally has no strength left.  Interestingly enough the “stranded beetle” position is not confined to the insect world.  Watch any of the “Baby” shows and you’ll see many a laboring mother confined to her bed, laying flat on her back.

I am dismayed by this for a number of reasons.  First, it has always seemed odd to me that many a pregnancy book advocates avoiding the back position late in pregnancy as the weight of the baby on the major artery running through the spine may actually inhibit the baby’s oxygen intake and create possible complications.  Second, the lithotomy position (that’s the medical term) was created for the doctor’s convenience during a time when women were given so much gas they weren’t even awake during labor.  Now mothers usually are awake but the practice lives on.  Third, it is completely against a woman’s natural instinct to remain in one place during labor.  Studies of historical cultures and women from remote areas away from such technological advances as fetal monitors confirm this. That is not to say that women don’t feel comfortable in bed or won’t choose to be there at some point but to remain in a bed in one position throughout labor is just unnatural and can slow the progress of labor.  Conversely (and fourth) movement (walking, rocking, squatting, kneeling etc.) can speed labor along.  Finally, and this was the clincher for  me personally, being on your back in labor HURTS!  Standing up or sitting or any number of other labor postions are intense to be sure but they are by far better than laying down on one’s back.

Having said all of that I encourage you to listen to your body and move when you feel like doing so.  Sometimes mothers don’t get out of bed because they feel overwhelmed by the technology of the hospital and the expertise of the staff so here are some nuggets you may not know.  Fetal monitors do not have to be attached all the time.  In fact, ten minutes of monitoring each hour is statistically as informative as constant montitoring.  As for exams, a good nurse will be able to do a vaginal exam while you are lying on your side.  Also, just because you are assigned a room doesn’t mean you have to stay there.  Bring your own clothing and you will feel more comfortable walking about the halls.  You are not a prisoner.  If you do choose to stay in your room, keep in mind that the the chairs provided for visitors can be used by you as well.  Ask your nurse about other available options such as a birth ball, rocking chair or jacuzzi tub (often in the physical therapy area).

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Here’s something I bet you didn’t know… well, maybe you did but I bet you didn’t realize the significance of it… well, maybe you do… aaanyway, here’s something interesting. 

You can wear your own clothes while you labor…. in the hospital.

It goes without saying that you can wear your own clothes if you intend to give birth at home but that the same is true in a hospital is often overlooked.  Here’s what happens.  You come into the hospital and, unless you waited until the very last moment and gave birth in the car, you waddle on up to Labor and Delivery to check in.  They assign you a room and leave you to change; returning a short time later to check your vitals and such.

Did you catch that?  It was quick wasn’t it?  In one short little phrase they directed you right out of your comfortable, familiar clothes and into one of those uncomfortable, cold, open in the back, very unfashionable hospital gowns.

So the question I hear you asking is:  “Why does it matter?”  And there are a couple of reasons.  First, you don’t want to spend your whole labor stuck in bed because you don’t want to deal with the *ahem* logistical difficulties of a gown that opens in back.  Second and more importantly, there are subliminal messages a hospital gown sends to the patient wearing it.  “You are ill.”  “You need to be taken care of.”  “You cannot make decisions for yourself.”  “You are not the expert here.”

In a normal labor (and most labors are normal) none of these statements are true and none of them empower you to work as a team with your body, your caregivers and your baby to produce your perfect birth.

It does not have to be that way.  Bring your own gown.  Something that covers but is relatively short so it doesn’t get in the way of the monitors.  Bring your own robe.  You won’t have to worry about flashing anyone if you choose to stroll down the hallway.  Pick something cute. Pick something beautiful. Pick something that makes you feel comfortable and confident.  I once attended the labor of client who went out and purchased a sexy, red teddy just for the event.  As she lay there after the birth, nursing her newly born daughter, she was indeed the most radiant new mother I’ve ever seen.  At Sister’s birth, I wore a plain, blue t-shirt - one of my favorites at the time.  There is even a company (Binsi) who makes cute skirts and tops specifically for labor. 

You will dress up for every other special event throughout your child’s life.  Why not start with her birth?

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So we are finally finished with our move. (I think.)  We have stopped bringing items from Grandma’s house and started taking things back or giving them away or throwing them away.  Each time we move I am astounded by the amount of “stuff” we have accumulated and, since our last two moves have been to smaller spaces, the amount of “stuff” that must be disposed of one way or another.  Interestingly enough, I don’t really miss anything we’ve left behind.  Oh sure, there are those emotional moments when you first decide that something must go (“Not the vase Great Aunt So n So got at that yard sale for nickel.  Remember how she talked the lady down from a quarter?  Can you believe anyone would ask a quarter for THAT?!  The nerve!”) But then the moment passes and you realize - it’s just “stuff” after all and you let go and your burden is a little lighter.  Finally, you are down to essentials.  You know, those items you absolutely neeeed.  But you don’t really have room for all of those either and so begin the hard decisions.  The criteria:  Is it truly useful?  Do I have space for it?

I know you think I’m rambling here but see labor is a lot like moving.  Early on, when you first start to think “Today is the day!”, you are excited.  You walk around in a happy daze.  You eagerly anticipate each rush as it comes.  These contractions are light and easy.  They do not demand your attention so you spend your time calling friends, “nesting”, and imagining the moment when you will meet your baby.  As the rushes begin to feel like waves gently lapping the shoreline in an ever constant rhythm, your excitement doesn’t wane but it does get tucked away momentarily as each wave washes over you.  Wellwishers come and go and between contractions you smile and nod and perhaps even laugh, answering their questions and listening to their stories.  Then (and this is where labor becomes like moving) just as you begin to settle into the rhythm of the waves, they intensify.  They become longer.  They become stronger.  Jokes are not as funny and you lose interest in the stories of “when I had my baby…”  The activity around you becomes “stuff” that must be discarded.  You don’t want to be rude.  You want to participate but you have to let go because there is not enough room within yourself for anything extraneous.  And within is where you must go.  Your retreat brings peace … for a time … until you discover there is “stuff” here too.  Fears, hopes, all sorts of emotional baggage.  In the constant sea of rolling waves you sort through each item, searching for the essentials. Toss the fear.  Release the expectations.  Strip everything down and when you discover your very core then you will also suddenly find yourself on the other side of the storm.

The waves will still seem tall because you will be tired but remind yourself that you are close.  Reach deep into the core you found and pull out a final bit of strength.  Your child is close.  You will hold her soon.

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In case you’re just joining us,  Birth-Day is a series of posts written each Thursday specifically for an expecting friend of mine.  Hopefully, these weekly, dare I say, nuggets of wisdom (Yes, I think I shall because I’m confident that way.) will help to guide her toward her perfect pregnancy and birth.  On the other hand, she seems to be doing pretty well on her own.  May I introduce Miss Leslie Jean.  Isn’t she photogenic?

Her mother has cleverly included captions for the ultrasound impaired among us. 

Welcome, sweet one.  We look forward to meeting you in person.

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In case you haven’t noticed today’s post is a bit late.  I am so mixed up that I thought today was Wednesday and the day before Tuesday and so forth back to Monday which was such a perfect holiday, I almost didn’t want to start the week at all.  And that makes me think about other things that sometimes come late. 

It used to be a woman found out she was pregnant when she started to see a distinctive bump form around her middle.  Oh, she might have suspected before that time but only then did she know for sure.  Then, from that time she would think ahead and others would guess with her and eventually they would settle on a date for the anticipated arrival.  “Sometime in the spring.” or “Around harvest.”  or “Most likely before the first snow.”

Now, even home pregnancy tests are so accurate we can know of the life growing within us weeks before any outward sign exists.  This is a blessing.  It allows us more time to eat better, exercise, prepare our homes as well as our minds for the birth of our babes.  But this knowing is also a curse.  In such a highly calculated world DUE DATE is king.

I remember pregnancy and I remember the number one asked question.  “When are you due?”  With Sister I answered with confidence, “September 19th.”  I had read variations were possible but was certain that referred to women whose cycles weren’t regular or who didn’t keep track of such things.  Neither of those applied to me, therefore my child would be born on September 19th, 2001.  Fortunately, by the time September 19th came (and went) I had done a little more reading.  I wasn’t so confident at that point but surely… surely she would not go more than a week past.  At 10 days I gave up even guessing and having had a good laugh at the expense of her mother, Sister appeared on Oct 2nd (12 days past her forecasted due date.) 

With Brother I was smarter or so I thought.

“When are you due?”

“Around the end of July.”

I smiled secretly at how clever I was.  No one would get an exact date out of me.  Saying “the end of July” kept the parameters so much more open than saying July 25th. (Oops, how did that slip out?)

Somewhere around August 9th thoughts of castor oil, black cohosh, spicy Thai food and a number of other natural induction methods started playing on a steady reel through my mind.  A few more days past.  I walked for miles (or at least blocks… okay one block and back) trying to encourage his entrance.  We rode on bumpy roads.  We made love. (which is by far the most pleasant induction method, BTW)  Would this child ever arrive?  Even by the most generous adjustment he was already 2 weeks “late.”  That was two days more even than his sister.  Somewhere around day 18, I drank the nastiest, “NEVER fail to give birth within 24 hours” Chinese herbal potion ever.  Two days later feeling as large as a house, I gave up.  “The baby will come when the baby will come.  I’m through trying to make something happen.”  Brother laughed just as Sister did and greeted us the following afternoon – three weeks to the day past his due date.

I know my experience is not a typical one at least not in these times but it deserves some thought.  Your baby will come when your baby will come.  No amount of calculating will give you the date.  Your baby will not be “late.”  Given the opportunity, your child will arrive exactly on schedule. 

There was a lady I used to work with who repeated me to daily, “Don’t be in such a rush.  They are a lot easier to take care of in there than they are out here.”  And so I leave you with those wise words.

Good night.

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