I am at home and it is quiet.  Brother is sleeping and Will has taken Sister to karate class.  I am using the time to catch up on my blog reading when a strange beeping sound erupts from my phone.  Looking I can see a text message has arrived.  Odd?  I never get text messages (which would explain why the beep was strange to me.)  The message if from Will, I open it to see…… Sister … at karate class … sporting her brand new yellow and white belt.  “YEA!”  I cheer though no one is around to hear.  “Good girl!”

My little white belt went to her first test last Friday.  She and Will had practiced much throughout the week and she was ready.  On test day, each punch and kick and form she knew as well or better than her beltmates but then it was time to break a board.  In class the board had always been one of those fake things with a crack already running down the middle of it.  We were not prepared (and neither was she) for the very real piece of wood before her.

But she did it!  After many tries and MUCH encouragement, she did it!

Good girl!

***Updated to add:  I was so wrong.  Even though the yellow/white belt is the next one after white, my sweet girl came home with this.

She totally rocked her test and skipped a belt!  Good girl, indeed!

One thing I love about unschooling (There are many.) is using events from everyday life as jumping off points for exploration. This week Leslie over at My Mommy’s Place is hosting a Haiku writing contest. You remember haiku’s don’t you? Seven syllables in the first line, five in the second, then seven again in the last line. It’s a simple contest really. Write and submit your best haiku here by Friday, August 10th. You can win really cool prizes. Inspired by Leslie’s contest, last night Sister and I sat on the balcony discussing syllables and imagery and poetry that doesn’t rhyme. We had a lot of fun with the “lesson” and came up with some pretty good poetry in the process. Without further ado, our entries:

My crazy kitten

Serafina is frisky.

Cat trainer wanted.

by Sister (age: 5 3/4)

Too verbose for good

haiku. Can’t seem to make it

fit. Need more syllab

by Mom (age: undisclosed)

If you think you’ve got what it takes to be a Haiku Buckaroo, head on over to My Mommy’s Place and join the fun.

I stumbled across a lovely birth story at Mothering magazine’s online forum.  I am sharing it with you because the author so beautifully describes the sensations of labor.  Enjoy!

Ripley’s Birth or “What if feels like to be in labor”

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Yesterday could have been very bad.  My monthly feminine friend is visiting and she brought along a migraine just for fun.  I was completely bummed about the migraine because I really thought I’d figured out what was causing them and, therefore; how to avoid them.  Apparently not.  Anyway, as I said, yesterday could have been very bad.  I remember back to a year or so ago when life was busy, busy.  There would have been no stopping for silly headaches, or fatigue, or hormones.  I would have driven all around town to various appointment, grabbed fast food for my kids who would have been whining in the back seat about “when can we do something fun?” and been generally grumpy.  That was then.  Now things are slower…better.

The morning started with a lovely cup of Chai tea and time with my Father.  Later after the children awoke and were settled with breakfast and Sesame Street, I took a nice, long, hot shower.  A quick peak to check on the kids then back to put on a little makeup.  I don’t usually wear makeup but sometimes a girl needs to feel particularly feminine.  To that end I also chose to wear a flirty, little skirt that hadn’t seen the light of day in a while.  Amazingly, though my body felt terrible, my spirit felt beautiful and somehow that made up the difference.

We ran a single errand just to get out of the apartment and then stopped into the grocery store for a few items.  To keep myself from getting carried away, we skipped the cart and simply held our goodies.  When there were no more hands available to fill, we left.

Back home, I assembled this simple lunch.

It’s a tasty salad of chopped Romaine, broken wheat tortilla chips, diced onion, tomato, avacado and little bit of shredded cheddar.  We mixed some salsa and sour cream for an easy dressing.  The drink is apple cinnamon sun tea.  Have you ever made sun tea?  It couldn’t be simpler.  Before starting lunch, I dropped a few tea bags into a tall carafe filled with water and a bit of honey and then sat the whole thing out in the sun. (Be sure to cover the top to avoid bugs!)  When lunch was ready so was my tea.  My mother used to make this when I was a child.  The transformation from separate ingredients to delicious tea always seemed so magical to me.

After lunch I sent Will back to work, set the children up with some toys and I took a nap.  Yes, a nap.  In the very middle of the day.  It was wonderful.  I awoke feeling refreshed and ready (finally) to tackle the daily drudgery of laundry and dishes and such.

We rounded out the day with a supper of pasta & salad, karate class and an evening visit to our favorite park.

Today, I am dressed in jeans, my hair is in a ponytail and there is no trace of make-up on my face.  Even so, yesterday has created a change in attitude.  Looking at my to-do list I know it does not all have be done now.  There is time to be deliberate.

Yea!!  We caught something!  After many unsuccessful fishing trips we finally caught something.  We had nearly given up for the day when a more seasoned mother than I (she had four little ones) happened by.  When she and her crew spotted a crawdad, Sister quickly blended herself in with the other little people so she could see too.  Looking at Sister’s empty net and the longing look on her face, this sympathetic mother of four asked, “Do you want me to catch it for you?”  Sister nodded vigorously and within moments had a full net and a huge grin on her face.

That catch must have changed our luck because within a few more minutes we caught this little guy…. all by ourselves.

We recently saw an animal program where a little girl “hypnotized” her frog to sleep by stroking its belly and telling it to rest.  I’m thinking that it must just be frog instinct but both Brother and Sister were delighted by their own hypnotizing abilities.

Sister and Will have gone to visit Great-Grandma Mary this weekend as she is not feeling so well.  Will had some work to do before they left so Sis and I were in charge of packing.  We put in clothes and toothbrushes, a few small toys and other sundry items.  Then as an afterthought almost, Sister ran to get her piggy bank and began dumping change into her purse.

“I’m going to take a little money….just in case we need it.  ‘Cause money is really popular.”  (She paused then added matter-of-factly.)  “It’s even more popular than horses.”

Indeed.  Maybe, that’s what’s wrong with the world.  Money is more popular than horses.

The size of our apartment lends itself to daily bouts of cabin fever.  To combat this the children and I have begun going to a park each morning while it’s still cool and then for a family walk around downtown in the evening.  Sooner Park is our favorite of late.  It has all the standard playground equipment, a swimming pool (though we’ve yet to visit that), an abundance of squirrels and best of all a winding little stream passing right through the middle.  One day not so long ago we arrived to find the park swarming with a Vacation Bible School group.  As is her custom, Sister quickly made friends with the explorers of the bunch - a sub-group with nets and buckets and enough determination to catch several minnows, tadpoles and and a frog.  Sister played the delighted spectator on that trip but two days later insisted she needed to try net fishing.  For less than $12 we acquired the necessary equipment and headed to the park.

We didn’t catch anything that day or the next day either but we are getting closer and refining our techniques and most of all we are having fun and learning together.  I think sometimes about the group we met the first day (and another group we’ve met since).  Both stayed for a while but were forced to leave their explorations as soon as the teacher called.  We stay until we are tired or it gets too hot or we mutually agree we’d like to try again another day.  While I understand the necessity of organization and schedule with so many children and so few caretakers, I like our way better.  I hope that as they grow our children will agree.

Have you ever seen a beetle turned on it’s back?  Clearly not comfortable in that position, it will struggle and struggle until it rights itself, is happened upon by a sympathetic stranger or finally has no strength left.  Interestingly enough the “stranded beetle” position is not confined to the insect world.  Watch any of the “Baby” shows and you’ll see many a laboring mother confined to her bed, laying flat on her back.

I am dismayed by this for a number of reasons.  First, it has always seemed odd to me that many a pregnancy book advocates avoiding the back position late in pregnancy as the weight of the baby on the major artery running through the spine may actually inhibit the baby’s oxygen intake and create possible complications.  Second, the lithotomy position (that’s the medical term) was created for the doctor’s convenience during a time when women were given so much gas they weren’t even awake during labor.  Now mothers usually are awake but the practice lives on.  Third, it is completely against a woman’s natural instinct to remain in one place during labor.  Studies of historical cultures and women from remote areas away from such technological advances as fetal monitors confirm this. That is not to say that women don’t feel comfortable in bed or won’t choose to be there at some point but to remain in a bed in one position throughout labor is just unnatural and can slow the progress of labor.  Conversely (and fourth) movement (walking, rocking, squatting, kneeling etc.) can speed labor along.  Finally, and this was the clincher for  me personally, being on your back in labor HURTS!  Standing up or sitting or any number of other labor postions are intense to be sure but they are by far better than laying down on one’s back.

Having said all of that I encourage you to listen to your body and move when you feel like doing so.  Sometimes mothers don’t get out of bed because they feel overwhelmed by the technology of the hospital and the expertise of the staff so here are some nuggets you may not know.  Fetal monitors do not have to be attached all the time.  In fact, ten minutes of monitoring each hour is statistically as informative as constant montitoring.  As for exams, a good nurse will be able to do a vaginal exam while you are lying on your side.  Also, just because you are assigned a room doesn’t mean you have to stay there.  Bring your own clothing and you will feel more comfortable walking about the halls.  You are not a prisoner.  If you do choose to stay in your room, keep in mind that the the chairs provided for visitors can be used by you as well.  Ask your nurse about other available options such as a birth ball, rocking chair or jacuzzi tub (often in the physical therapy area).

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Looking for something fun (and educational) to do with your kids?  Try reading this delightful story by Graeme Base. 

“When Horace the Elephant decides to throw himself a party for his 11th birthday, he never suspects a crime will be committed by lunchtime. Who has stolen the birthday feast? As with any good mystery, everyone is guilty until proven innocent. The proof lies in the myriad clues embedded in each glorious illustration. Young sleuths will delight in decoding the complex messages that pop up in unexpected places.”

–summary from Amazon

I remember solving the mystery in Junior High English many, many moons ago.  Our teacher divided us into teams and promised a reward to first group with the correct solution.  My team won the contest after several class periods of decoding.  Years later, I spied the book on sale and bought it hoping to repeat the experience with my children…someday.  Well, Sister found the book a couple of weeks ago and we’ve been slowing sleuthing together.  An older (reading) child could solve the mystery alone but then you’d miss out on all the fun. 

Check out these other titles from Graeme Base too.  Any ot them would be a worthy addition to your children’s library.

Here’s something I bet you didn’t know… well, maybe you did but I bet you didn’t realize the significance of it… well, maybe you do… aaanyway, here’s something interesting. 

You can wear your own clothes while you labor…. in the hospital.

It goes without saying that you can wear your own clothes if you intend to give birth at home but that the same is true in a hospital is often overlooked.  Here’s what happens.  You come into the hospital and, unless you waited until the very last moment and gave birth in the car, you waddle on up to Labor and Delivery to check in.  They assign you a room and leave you to change; returning a short time later to check your vitals and such.

Did you catch that?  It was quick wasn’t it?  In one short little phrase they directed you right out of your comfortable, familiar clothes and into one of those uncomfortable, cold, open in the back, very unfashionable hospital gowns.

So the question I hear you asking is:  “Why does it matter?”  And there are a couple of reasons.  First, you don’t want to spend your whole labor stuck in bed because you don’t want to deal with the *ahem* logistical difficulties of a gown that opens in back.  Second and more importantly, there are subliminal messages a hospital gown sends to the patient wearing it.  “You are ill.”  “You need to be taken care of.”  “You cannot make decisions for yourself.”  “You are not the expert here.”

In a normal labor (and most labors are normal) none of these statements are true and none of them empower you to work as a team with your body, your caregivers and your baby to produce your perfect birth.

It does not have to be that way.  Bring your own gown.  Something that covers but is relatively short so it doesn’t get in the way of the monitors.  Bring your own robe.  You won’t have to worry about flashing anyone if you choose to stroll down the hallway.  Pick something cute. Pick something beautiful. Pick something that makes you feel comfortable and confident.  I once attended the labor of client who went out and purchased a sexy, red teddy just for the event.  As she lay there after the birth, nursing her newly born daughter, she was indeed the most radiant new mother I’ve ever seen.  At Sister’s birth, I wore a plain, blue t-shirt - one of my favorites at the time.  There is even a company (Binsi) who makes cute skirts and tops specifically for labor. 

You will dress up for every other special event throughout your child’s life.  Why not start with her birth?

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